I had a very unpleasant dream last night, which ironically, considering the time it is as I write this, makes it the night before last, a caveat of comfort in additional distance between it and now, however I am about to drame myself in the navy ruse of sleep again, I hope my subconsciousness plays ball.
This unpleasant dream consisted of in part imagery from another dream fragment which I mentioned regarding Istanbul and being at water level in a well worn barnacled spot at water level in some bathing place on a warm summer evening, but, in the second dream, the well-worn barnacled structured which comforted me in the past now encased me in a complex but small aging bunker like structure which was on the edge of a coastline, in the warmth of the evening sun, beguiling me and making me do its bidding against my will.
it seemed like a four roomed structure but cubed so eight rooms and it was embedded in the sand off axis, the combination of seaweed and barnacles made it treacherous to move for fear of slipping and shredding on those barnacle skin-graters.
The structure consisted of eight rooms all the same size and in the same position relative to the rest of the structure, somewhat like a four piece Rubicks cube rather then the common nine piece. And despite large openings for windows, they did not invite you to want to exit the building via them, instead, the building was falling apart from years of sea erosion and neglect but despite this the structures integrity was intact.
The structure begged for slow methodical aggregation of thought and composure to work out its rhythmical complexity.
I understand the mechanisms of dreams and I understand how the brain later interprets issues of the day or week or some other seemingly random period of time, usually when the mind is stimulated.
I see this dream as a complex interpretation of my impending hearing with unemployment and the frustrations waiting for an apparently arbitrary timescale driven linear process by the Department of Homeland Security and the machinations of that process and how it again plays on my mind. My impending trip to India and placing my trust in the hands of someone else, something I have spent my life working against doing. Trying to start streetshooter.org-the only thing I have a modicum of control over, but its like running a marathon with a Blancmange in a net and attempting to maintain control over it whist winning the race. And also dealing with the relentless annoyance of my own personal inadequacies and idiosyncratic projections into that large black elephant of fear in the room of my subconsciousness.