This is the start of week 3 and I feel like Ive been here a lifetime already. Hank said time would speed up for me and slow down for everyone else, (or the other way around I cant remember which), but I remember thinking that it was one of those epiphany moments in text that doesn’t become reality until you think about it later on and realize that somebody already told you. Ive done so many new things and met so many new people and seen other peoples lives and investigated legendary stories and unearthed things about stuff and seen things first hand that had only ever been mythological as far as I was concerned. And in that time the amazement is that I got this far in only three weeks. Whats probably more revelatory is that its probably mostly down to being locked up in that shit-show with the dysfunctional band of degenerate oddballs pushing out of date work to people who didn’t know any better. The more Im out of there the more I scratch my head about how on earth I managed to get so low as to feel that working there was in any way good. Well life is a learning curve.
So Im enjoying the tribal leaf cigarillo called Bidi, a single leaf rolled to house crushed leaf itself. Its a very mild and short smoke, its easy. Unlike trying to find a fucking light.. Indian matches are seriously fucked. A matchbox which contains 35 matches will give you a headache by the time you are done. They break, they dont need to be struck because they flare so easily and it takes two matches to get a strike and then they are out before they get to their destination. Then at the end you realize that the cardboard box is actually made of wood also and then covered with cardboard.
So then leads to the other issue, of trying to find a lighter. Any lighter anywhere in any shop. Finally I found a metal chrome clipper rip-off which is a hilarious concept to think that clippers were the ultimate refillable lighter priced like a chuck-away.
This is the week of cravings. I really didnt want to be one of those people who hankers longingly for some piece of home, but there you have it, I had a craving for what I remembered as a kid in Ireland, and because this is a post colonial country there are still vestiges of the colonial tastes available in the shops. Cadburys chocolate made with Cane sugar not sugar-beet and rich milk, its divine.. better then the New Zealand stuff and better then the UK stuff too.. ..and theres no such thing as Hershey’s here either, none of that toilet scrubbing shit here. Polo Mints, like Lifesavers in the US but better and CHEAP 20rps for 5 packs!!! I spend most of my time giving them away to children for some smiles, I may have the sweet tooth of a hyperactive fiver year old as Jenny says but I so couldn’t eat 5 packs of Polo Mints. As for Indian chewing-gum.. well it aint Wrigley’s Ill say that much. Again about 20 packs for 80rps. The chewing gum here makes me fart.
The best part is that I went to get a bottle of CocaCola and was nicely surprised to find that its still original formula here and less carbonation in it too. The Cane sugar is less sweet and is actually better for you then the US Government funded Corn Syrup shit that is in everything in the US. When the corner store owner asked me if that was all I wanted I said yes and gave him the thumbs up with I attributed to being the universal sign of all things good. He said “ok thumbs up sir” and of course I said yet and then he pulled out a 2L bottle of ThumbsUp an Indian CocaCola variant, but apparently had been around almost as long as Coke and is of different ingredients, but tastes better then Coke itself, and ironically is now owned by the CocaCola Company itself. As corporations go I think think CocaCola has has any real crimes or misdemeanors that have tipped the scales in a long time, Im open to correction on that. Ive also heard that they are using their incredible and amazing distribution network to extend fresh water to remote towns and villages in parts of India, and there is no branding on that water either. Oddly enough, a corporation that may not suck..