Being There

Last coherent conversation with my Father

I never lived in this apartment, apart from one month in 2015 where I came back to Ireland with the intention of trying to get to know him again and to remind myself of who he was and where I came from.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Dublin, My father had fallen about 6 months previously and damaged some bones. He was checked on by a friend who determined quite rightly, that he was in trouble. Between my Sister and my oldest brother, John, and their friends that were still living in Ireland, helped get him situated in a new place.
In the meantime, he had been hospitalized and then sent to ‘Our Lady’s Manor’ which is a care home administered by an order of nuns. This is literally moments after I saw him for the first time in 3 years. I was gutted when I saw him, so physically diminished, yet bright and coherent despite the crumbling infrastructure.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Dublin,. My oldest brother, John, dealing with immediate arrangements for Dad, a Taxi, and his job back in the UK.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Waiting by the elevator at Our lady’s Manor care home. My thoughts during this time were to apply the same psychology through my camera that would help determine the best images to get in the moment. As I was looking at my father, I could see his demeanour, indicating that he wasn’t really sure about what was going on in that moment. The following image carries on this psychology and is manifested on my brother, as he amply reflects my own thoughts in that moment.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Waiting by the elevator at Our lady’s Manor care home. My thoughts during this time were to apply the same psychology through my camera that would help determine the best images to get in the moment. As I was looking at my father, my brother, John, came to my focus attention. This is hard for all of us.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Dublin,. In the tiny elevator at Our lady’s Manor care home.
It became clear that it was very difficult for me to figure out which emotion was calling me the most. I made the picture to solidify the moment.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

I remember my dad talking about a film that he said was profound; “Being There” with Peter Sellers. The sentiment of this film is reflected in these images.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Dublin,. This is my brother, John, saying goodbye for now to our dad. Me giving him that hug, would look just the same as this, and it would be the following day. The last time I would talk with him.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Dublin,. A view, one that I’d seen many times before, but from another point.
My father spilt most of his life into this area, everyone knew him, he was a hand, act or part in this area for 88 years.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

I remember my dad talking about a film that he said was profound; “Being There” with Peter Sellers. The sentiment of this film is reflected in these images.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

I have vague memories of being a child holding his big warm hand, and he would turn back to me like this, and say something.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Dublin,. I literally got off the plane got in a taxi and came straight out to see him at the Manor. The trip back to my friend’s house where I was staying, was a real-time tableaux of images from the window of the train, segments of my past life in Ireland, chunks of memory, good and bad times, little vignettes of thought and memory synchronized and dispatched with the rhythm of the tracks.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Dublin,. A view, one that I’d seen many times before, but from another point.
My father spilt most of his life into this area, everyone knew him, he was a hand, act or part in this area for 88 years.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

Dublin,. A view, one that I’d seen many times before, but from another point.
My father spilt most of his life into this area, everyone knew him, he was a hand, act or part in this area for 88 years.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

I remember once my dad talking about a film that he said was profound; “Being There” with Peter Sellers. The sentiment of this film is reflected in these images.

Last coherent conversation with my Father

The last look.
I had a deadline, my part in a charade. I got one day with my father.
The window frame tells me that I have no control, I include it in the frame, to convey a sense of constraint. Other things going on outside the window, are reinforcements on this concept.

VIOLENCE

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VIOLENCE

 

Puzzling and unexpected.
Two boys. Brothers. Formative years.  

 

Horseplay in the waiting room, I’m not paying attention.

I heard a sound. I don’t know what it was.

My mind does.

 

That puzzle piece is a root trigger. Deep and legacy.

 

A localized, cool breeze forms over thoracic. Cold. Instant.

Muscles ripple.

Lockdown.

Pain.

 

Waiting for the event. Waiting for the ambush. Waiting for the violence.

V is for violence. It is purple on my right and navy on my left.

 

not a strict portfolio, but a portfolio nontheless

2017-11-24


I’ve been using the internet since 1991. I’m not the generation that built it, but I am the generation that took it from obscurity to fruition.

In 2014 I cut back on my use of social media, primarily because I felt that the very fabric of the internet was starting to ‘guide’ me in a direction, whatever that direction was I didn’t know, but I didn’t like it. I actually really don’t come here that often now. I create and stock, or post, I contribute but don’t partake, I have too many other things on my mind to pay attention.

Twitter, to me, was always a bullshit platform, I still think it is. In the beginning, it was people talking about what they were doing at that moment, just rubbish, typing to be heard. Now, it’s that and more of it in cumulative voluminous chorus of pure unmitigated liquid shit.

Anyone who thinks Twitter is a powerful news media platform is off their rocker, simply and plainly, we are not journalists.

Pick a minstrel, and they will play to, or for their audience. You put a hundred people in a room and the dynamics will form eponymous groups

 

The first thing you learn in a conflict zone is there is no truth, that goes out well before boots hit the ground or even the first fist is raised, let alone bullets or Molotov’s. Truth was shoved out the door before the show even started.

Regionalized information delivery is 100% against what the internet was raised to be.

Proper news information delivery is journalism, and that comes with context, perspective and contrast; two or more sides of a situation delivered within the parameters of context and with ethics, backstory and overview. Yes the journalist is skewed, intrinsically, but the journalist is the brightest computer fueled by conviction, compassion, empathy and had human experience, which as yet, has not been emulated by machine, but is in danger of being swallowed by the tsunami of white noise, grey noise, black noise, brown noise, noise, or, as Navy personnel call interference, which all comes with agenda and skew.

 

What is real? Where is the middle ground?

Where are we?

 

Remember who you are.

Who are you?

Apple

Happy to see a class action lawsuit against Apple for its recent beligerance towards their iPhone customers.

Oh it so irritates me when those Mac Geniuses tell you that there’s nothing wrong. 

I had a serious problem with my IPhone 4, and had to have the battery replaced by an semi-authorized service centre when I was in India. Later, back in the U.S. a Genius told me that they wouldn’t touch my phone now because it hasn’t been serviced at an Apple store. Explaining my situation, the guy didn’t seem to give a toss, and so a conversation with his supervisor who told me point blank, that their batteries never degrade, prompting me to ask if they had somehow found the secret to miniaturized perpetual motion. 

I ended taking apple to the small claims court and won the right to the repair cost and the BS of dealing with people who are under pressure from higher ups to fob off anyone with pesky questions. Needless to say the phone died a few weeks afterwards because mysteriously a capacitor was weakened during the battery replacement. None of which is provable and so Samsung got a new customer until the iPhone 6 came out. 

IOS 11 definitely made my 6+ dredge slow, but it was already getting slow before the update, taking 8 minuets too hard reboot. I would have preferred if they could have given us the possibility of rolling back to an older OS version, while keeping the security updates. I don’t see how that is not possible.

Smooth E’s

Sometimes I do this. In the summer I do it more. 

I have terrible teeth, from a combination of reasons, and also I have dentist phobia, so I have an immersion blender that chews for me. This way, my diet is radically better. 
I think, if I had better teeth, I probably wouldn’t eat half the things I put into the cauldron. 

I like food but have little food imagination, and tend to make what I grew up with, or a minor variation on that. I will put all kinds of things into the jar, sometimes it’s more experimental than others. 
Today, it’s Arigula, Carrots, Celery, Satsuma’s, Strawberries, Kiwi & Banana, and I add about two soup spoons of diluted plain or Vanilla yogurt to make it a bit more natural like Mountain Dew. 
It’s dense, and has to be consumed slowly, about 10-15minutes, but I feel better for 36-48 hours the days I make these vs not.  
The blender was $40 at Target. It has two speeds, start with the slow speed and add a shot of water until it’s a fluid pulp, then add more water (which makes it easier for the blender), and blend until it’s a thick liquid, voila a smooth e, aka great sustenance & hydration in one go.