Im looking forward to having less stuff, to being able to think singularly and having the space to move around within myself or atleast the ability to simplify my mind and my hangups about the amount of things I have that now spent more time preventing me from doing the things that I want to be doing then thinking about all the things I cant do because I have all these worldly possessions which have begun to have this psychological effect of holding me down like a large bag of rain in a storm. Who cares whether or not its true, for me it is, and so I am washing away the last ten years of my life in the belief that accumulation and stagnation were a comforting fortress of security and the feeling of being able to own these things in the first place is quite a nice feeling and a sense of achievement. I think Im coming up on some kind of personal enlightenment. Am I gong on about this too much? Perhaps I am, sorry, but its a convincing filter which I have to speak out like an exhalation.
Ive come to the conclusion, perhaps a little slowly, that my job is actually having negative repercussions on the rest of my life. I have no motivation and little or no inspiration.
Typically about this time on Sundays when I have had the day off and have had some time to relax and release the tensions of work, I start to feel like I want to read a newspaper or look at negatives or work in the darkroom.
Its not a hard job per say, but it is consuming, dealing with you, the public where you draw from me and typically its a one way flow.
its time for a change, and a long vacation away from here. I am ready.