lying there I thought about some things in my recent past. regrets, unfortunate convergence of circumstance and inevitabilities and responsibilities.
i feel like i want to be just like everybody else but ive tried and I cant be.
I’m just sad about steering in a different direction then my girlfriend and ultimately derailing a good connection.
Ive come to the conclusion, perhaps a little slowly, that my job is actually having negative repercussions on the rest of my life. I have no motivation and little or no inspiration.
Typically about this time on Sundays when I have had the day off and have had some time to relax and release the tensions of work, I start to feel like I want to read a newspaper or look at negatives or work in the darkroom.
Its not a hard job per say, but it is consuming, dealing with you, the public where you draw from me and typically its a one way flow.
its time for a change, and a long vacation away from here. I am ready.